We shot ourselves in the foot, I realised one day as I flicked through the timeless Epic of Gilgamesh. As homosexuals, constantly wrenching ourselves away from the influence and conventions of heterosexuality, we've landed flat on our faces in the same dull traps they have fallen into since time began - only for us the shoe simply does not fit. Our moisturised heels are swimming in standard issue caterpillar boots.
Gilgamesh and Enkidu, the oldest written story of our human race was a love written in the stars, free and pure. I assure you they did not worry about Proposition 8. Nor did Gilgamesh's mother, in Tablet I, have an epilepsy and send him to therapy after realising the destiny of her royal son lies with another man.
True, such great journeys and epic adventures as seen through the eyes of Gilgamesh rarely materialise in our physical world today, but it is not too difficult to see (and some enthusiasts of the esoteric may even wish you to believe that) the monsters and the journeys in Gilgamesh's tale could also be demons and journeys you conquer within yourself.
But hey, who has time for profound connections and spiritual voyages with true love if we're too busy fighting for the hypotheses of gay marriage and test-tube babies? Why do we buy into simulating heterosexual relationships with all their ideosyncracies and force-transcribe them as our own? From the ring on your finger to the debate on monogamy, its tiresome and in most cases irrelevant.
I owe the freedom in my life to many an activist before me who has fought for what I deserve as a homosexual - equality of treatment. But often we lose sight of this, confuse equality with immitation.
In my tenacity to numerical explanations: if everyone aspires to be society's perfect 10 (accepted, respected, etc), heterosexuals usually achieve this through a simple 5+5. Yes, 5+5 gives you a perfect 10, but so does 2+8, or 6+4, and it is up to those of us who arrive at the perfect 10 from different variations to prove the obvious - that we are equally worthy. But instead, what we consistently pursue are the traditional "5+5" societal institutions, such as marriage and procreation, partly because the standards have been embedded in our brains and partly because we want the ligitimacy and respect that they entail.
Our mission, if one exists, should be to ensure we are equally acknowledged and respected regardless of how it is we conduct our lives so long as we follow our heart, and not to seek equality through immitation.
whats 5+5
ReplyDeleteWhile archaic references to same-sex relationships have their inevitable charm, and we can all read them and ponder them in awe and secret hero worship, I must put forward the context argument.
ReplyDeleteContext.
We live in a world where "noble race" and "son of the Gods" are no longer valid currencies.
Honor, glory and peace are defined in completely different terms. We can argue with the Marxists as much as we like, but in today's world honor, is inextricably tied with paying your bills on time and honoring your credit cards.
So is equality.
Equality here, is equality of equal access, equal opportunities, not equal configurations.
Without resorting to too much intrinsic needs and collective unconscious debates, for people to "honor" your lifestyle "choices" you want to make you have to dress them in ways they understand.
In ways they relate to.
Europe is an excellent example.
Same-sex marriage was legalized in Netherlands in the 1980s! No fuss there. The discourse used made enough sense, society, citizens, civic duties, civic rights,....etc
All the Germanic/Norse countries followed suit, using the same exact language.
Everyone but the French homophobes.
Now its the Americans who had to drag religion into this, and raise all kinds of metaphysical questions about the sanctity of marriage and God knows what.
But there is no "we".
Who do you mean by "we"?
"We" the Muslim Arabs? "We" the Westernized victims?
Who are "we"?
We speak the language of the masters so they can understand us. So we become intelligible.
Not because we want to be like the masters.
Not all of us want to get married, and have children or any other configuration we can think of, but those of us who want to secure and earn the social respectability of heterosexuals should have it.
In whichever way that comes.
Marriage, civil unions, civil partnership, marrying an archaic God.
Each did/does it in his own.
We can not transcend the boundaries of our space by alienating those who placed the boundaries of this space.
We can exalt in our difference all we like, but some of us are just happy mainstreaming. And those should not be dissed nor those who want to choose to be at the margins.
Both are "equal" choices with particular set of consequences which each party has to bear.
Its maybe 11+(-1) even if you like, but its a 10 nonetheless.
xoxo