Psycho-babble of a law student

Isn't it time that I wrote a normal post?

Well as of November 11th I've entered a somewhat peculiar phase. On the face of things I feel somewhat isolated - with Jim gone for 3 weeks and me returning to school for what is turning out to be a tough 4 weeks till Christmas. Too many assignments due, with too much attention to be given to each. I promised myself I'd do just as well as I did last year though, so I have to crack the whip on my own gorgeous butt ;)

I realized something though in the past couple days- I have very few real friends. Back when I was in high school, making friends seemed so easy. Being in an international school meant that my friends rotated almost every 2 years (because nobody stuck around longer anyway), and since I was a constant in Cairo, I found it easy to be comfortable in that tiny but fun social circle of american educated creeps. The flip side of that was that I have a huge network of people one every contintent who I know and occasionally visit.

Of course, my school days are over. My first year at the american university in cairo wasn't quite so bad considering many of the people that went to my high school and were in my position (ie Cairenes forever!) rolled right into the Greek Campus with me. It seemed all of a sudden that since I'd been in the international school the longest, I was the only one without a network of friends from outside of it - Tamer had his church friends, Shaima had her friends from Kuwait, even Raul had his friends from the Jesuit School and the Lycee Francais, and Seif the Deutsche Ueberschule. Takhi (bless him) was from Saudi so he was practically an orphan like me! Thats not to say that all these aforementioned who I call real friends took off with their former networks, but im sure on some level university seemed a much more familiar place.

Anyway my point is once in AUC i realized that making friends wouldn't be as easy. When I moved to England not only was it even harder, but I also lost constant touch with the people I considered the closest.

In England, making aquaintances has been easy. In london I must have dozens of people I 'know' and go out with. Here in Newcastle I reluctantly interact with other people on my course, but nevertheless randomly socialize. Friends are a different category though.

I guess I remain an oddity to many - an Arab with an American accent studying law in the North-east corner of england only a spit-ball away from the north pole. On the other hand I also can't find a point of relation or common ground between myself and those on my course - born, bred small-town people with minimum ambition and pickled livers (oh wait, the pickled liver? hehe, no I'm a nun compared to these folk). In london, a crazy city comparable to Cairo in chaos (fancy alliteration?) I can relate more - the dynamics are more familiar, and consequently so are the people. Not to mention more interesting. Still its a city of ghosts. People come and go very quickly, noone forms a true bond with you, and I have no time to form bonds with them. I'm on a train or a plane at least a few times a month, running my north-south england axis or packing myself into my relationship bubble with jim and going away for a weekend.

Takhi, my best bud and Zina my partner in academic crime are the only constants in my life. I thrive on emails and texts from my friends in Cairo and around the world. My sister i feel less and less comfortable around as her voice rings with judgment over my sexuality, my brother in his own cocoon in Cairo, and my father where he always is- away on business.

I'm not an unhappy person - i'm blessed with more than i can count or be thankful for. And perhaps this is the way I was meant to live my life - and silence and solitude are food for the soul.